1. Traumatize Everyone

Frosty is dead. This is the most traumatizing Christmas sweater I've ever seen. Look at his eyes! If this doesn't get you first place, you'll at least leave everyone at the party really depressed.

2. Tap into Nostalgia

On the other hand, you could play dirty and pull the nostalgia card. Who can resist Rudolph around the holidays? It may look a little stylish but it definitely qualifies as an ugly sweater. Those buck teeth, man.

3. Wear Something Completely Inappropriate

If traumatizing the entire guest list isn't enough, horrify them with something inappropriate! Grandma certainly did get run over by a reindeer, and he didn't even pause. I have to tell you, however, that this is not as inappropriate as the Tipsy Elves get. There are some R-rated sweaters featuring reindeer in compromising situations, filthy snowmen, and a really rather pervy Nutcracker.

4. Cats

Cats trump everything. Also, Grumpy Cat can share your emotions much more succinctly than you can:

“Happy holi--”

“NO.”

5. Look like You Raided Grandma's Closet

Cardigans deserve their own spot in the lineup of ugly Christmas sweaters. It has to be a specific style to qualify but if it looks like something your grandma or Mr. Rogers would wear, you're good. Bonus points for the gingerbread man massacre going on there.

6. Pick Anything with Tinsel

If you wear tinsel, you're on top of your game. The more, the better – or the uglier, as the case may be. But bless your heart, won't you be festive!

7. This

Ugly holiday sweaters are awesome, but everybody knows the accessories make the outfit. They can also break the outfit. This hat will break your outfit.

Wear any of these items and you're guaranteed to win. The good news is that there are matching sweaters for men, so you can even enter the couples contest! Tag your partner – and if you choose one of those awesomely inappropriate sweaters, remember one thing: pics or it didn't happen.