Ah, the delights of summer 2024 – sunshine, beaches, barbecues, and those inevitable moments of curvy girl struggles in the heat! If you’re a fellow curvy queen, you know exactly what I’m talking about. Hot weather can turn into a five-ring circus of sweat, adjustments, and strategic wardrobe choices. Let’s just say, surviving summer with more curves than the bendiest roller coaster is no small feat.
Starting with the notorious thigh chafing. Ah yes, nothing spells summer buzzkill like that painful rub that turns a leisurely stroll into a waddle. You might be on your way to enjoy that cute farmer's market when suddenly, your thighs are screaming for mercy. Cue the creative solutions: secret applications of anti-chafing balm, breezy maxi dresses, and those magical bike shorts that double as undergarments.
Oh, and don't get me started on the curse of sweaty boobs. The sensation of feeling like you’ve got tiny slip-n-slides hidden in your bra is a unique discomfort only we, the chosen curvy ones, truly understand. Many a time, you’ll find us sneakily stuffing tissues down there or rocking only the most breathable bras humanity has invented because sometimes, feeling like the North Pole under there is a fantasy in this sweltering heat.
Then there’s the constant adjusting of clothes. You know those glorious summer dresses that cling beautifully in all the right places for the first 10 minutes? Yeah, well, they soon morph into a clinging nightmare. We tug, twist, and reshape our outfits, trying to find that elusive sweet spot where we look cute and feel cool. By the end of the day, you’ve adjusted your dress more times than you’ve checked Instagram.
Speaking of adjustments, let's talk about swimwear. Finding a swimsuit that makes you feel confident yet comfortable can feel like a treasure hunt without a map. You finally land that dream bikini only to realize beach outings involve a strategic balance between flaunting your fabulousness and keeping everything in place.
And, dear heavens, finding flattering shorts. The ones that fit without feeling like a boa constrictor around your thighs or showing off every curve as if they’re broadcasting it on a giant LED screen.
Amid these hot weather woes is the ever-present challenge of choosing the right fabric. The quest for the perfect breathable fabric that won’t stick, cling, or highlight every bead of sweat has become a semi-professional sport at this point.
So, in the spirit of camaraderie and a cohesive understanding of the struggle that is summer 2024 for curvy girls, let’s delve into the hilarious, sometimes frustrating, yet wonderfully relatable hot weather woes and affirm that we’re in this steamy adventure together!
Chub rub is horrible. It is so painful. It leaves you walking like you've just been riding a horse for twenty-four hours, and the first time you take a bath or shower after you have a bad case of it? NOOO!
Or a bathing suit. Or shorts. Or anything, really, that lets your thighs rub together because that kind of friction is hellish. HELLISH.
Speaking of shorts … there's nothing worse than when your jorts from last summer end up looking more like … like janties, I guess. Jean short panties. Hahaha, I just made myself lol!
Shorts are horrible. I mean, they're comfortable and they look phenomenal on curvy girls, thin girls, and girls who fall in between, but they're still evil – the way they climb up into your crotch with every step you take.
It happens. It happens to all of us, maybe because we have to pull those damn shorts up so high.
Go out in a tank top or a strapless shirt or even if your bathing suit when it's hot, and you'll quickly discover that chub rub is not limited to your inner thighs.
All the boob sweat. Cleave sweat. Underboob sweat. Side boob sweat. All the sweat. This is definitely something all women recognize, though.
This, too. And if you happen to be a full-figured woman with large breasts, your cups are destined to overflow. With sweat.
Not just that, but realizing you have pit stains on top of your pit stains, no matter what kind of top you're wearing, no matter what color it is, no matter what the material is.
It looks like the Tree of Life, but really it's just the Tree of Perspiration.
If your thighs are bare, they will stick to things. Lots of things. Standing up will be painful.
This is so horrible. I get so paranoid about this. By now, I automatically look down and check the seat. Have you ever sweated so much that it looks like you actually peed?
In the quest to stay cool, you're almost always flashing boob, or side boob, or your butt, or your cookie. Something.
Protip: forget about bending over ever again. Just try to look graceful as you squat like a frog.
Because your butt is so juicy, it takes up a bit more room in the back, you see.
This is hell for everyone who has ever had to shop for a suit, I know that in my heart. When you're curvy and trying to find a suit that fits, however, you just … it's just … it's so horrific. The lighting and mirrors in fitting rooms are bad enough, but after you've tried on two suits, you start getting sweaty and everything sticks to you and is swimming even worth it?
To this I say, do not worry about covering your curves. Eff that. Do what you can to keep the chub rub at bay, but never cover yourself up because you're afraid of some asshat making comments or wondering why you have the audacity to wear something. Have the audacity to wear anything that makes you feel comfortable.
Like say, a lot of these experiences are universal, but many of them present a special kind of hell for curvy girls. The summer struggle is real – and it's here. So let me offer up a talcum powder toast for my gorgeous full-figured sisters.