Ridiculous designer accessories should really get better press coverage! Seriously! They might not be the most conventionally useful things out there but we can at least have a lot of laughs. And those who laugh more live longer, right? Well, let me prolong your life for a good couple of years by sharing a few totally ridiculous designer accessories! How ridiculous? Extremely! I’m talking super weird designer stuff! And don’t worry, you can thank me later!
1 Cynthia Rowley Band Aids
When designers or celebrities decide to team up with a cosmetic/pharmaceutical company, the result is always an overpriced product with none of the quality to justify the high costs. Cynthia Rowley, on the other hand, isn’t a fan of such trade-offs! Results of her co-ops are not as pricey and very useful…if you’re a 12 year old with a fashion addiction. Yes, I’m talking about colorful Band Aids! Why wear a regular flesh toned Band Aid or go for a seamless, clear one when you can opt for sequins, signature or baroque-inspired prints to color coordinate a fresh cut with your outfit and show everyone that you might not be very careful with knives but at least take your fashion seriously! These practical yet quite ridiculous designer accessories sell for the price of $10 a set and come in a really interesting vintage-looking metal box that might convince you to make a purchase even if you agree that adults shouldn’t be wearing colorful Band Aids.
Frequently asked questions
2 Cynthia Rowley Colorful Diapers
If you believe there’s nothing wrong with colorful Band Aids and think I should be punished for listing them as ridiculous designer goods, you can choose to go even further and match your baby’s diaper with your designer Band Aid. Rowley is the genius behind both, which should make matching patterns very easy. After all, we all know that regular white diapers are so last year and that fashion-conscious babies shouldn’t be caught pooping in non-designer diapers! Right?
3 Hermes Coloring Book
Here’s another treat fashionable mommies won’t be able to resist – a Hermes coloring book, specially designed for children who like to doodle haute couture style! Seriously, why choose Mickey, SpongeBob or any of those characters your child might actually recognize when you can get this fantastic (albeit a bit scary) designer piece for just $140? What a bargain! Now raise your hand if you think this ornate, eccentric attempt to appeal to mothers who are replacing their bag addiction with baby-stuff addiction is a fail of the century!
4 Prada Tea Bags
Available in two different flavors, Tubereuse and Vetiver, elegantly packed Prada tea bags help you feel like a rich socialite even if you couldn’t be further away from this flattering title. The box, mixture and the names are inspired by their signature scents ( great if you’re obsessed with these scents so much that you want to drink ‘em), satchels are 100% muslin (because cotton is for poor people and plastic doesn’t sound as posh) and yes… they are some seriously ridiculous designer stuff! What’s so wrong about a cup of good ole Earl Grey?
5 Marc Jacobs Crayons
Remember that Hermes coloring book? Well, we definitely shouldn’t let our kids doodle all over it using plain ol’ regular pencils! And oh, how lucky are we – Marc Jacobs seems to be on the same page, offering yet another ridiculous match. Accompanied by something that looks like a pencil sharpener and a grey block that could only be an eraser, these 12 colors of the rainbow come in an ordinary-looking box with a clear plastic sliding top. But wait, before you embrace the obvious and go like, “But, it’s just a regular case of crayons," let me point out that it also has the words MARC JACOBS written all over the lid.
6 Dior Phone
Dior has gone tech savvy! And you know what that means! You don’t? Ah, well, let me explain it. Anyone with at least 5000 dollars of spare change and no idea what to do with the cash can now blow it all on ONE ridiculous designer accessory! Show off your brand new Cannage patterned Dior phone that doesn’t only do everything other phones do but can blind anyone within a 5 mile radius thanks to all those crystal, silver, gold, diamond, mother of pearl and sapphire details! Made by hand in Dior’s lab (and, excuse me, but how do you make a phone by hand?), these show stopping babies even come with their own Dior cases. Nice touch, although I doubt that’s because you could hardly find a standard iPhone case that fits.
7 Chanel Dumbbells
Quilted, lambskin grips, interlocking CCs no one can fail to notice – these Chanel dumbbells cost $750 and will help you tone your arms double as fast! Well…not really, but they really cost 750 dollars! You might want to avoid sweating, though, as lambskin isn’t really forgiving, so either find someone to hold them for you while you exercise or get in touch with those creative folks at Chanel and place a custom order for a matching set of gloves!
8 Designer Bicycles
Opt for a Chanel or Gucci bike and you’ll be the envy of every fashion-savvy cyclist in town! LOL! Seriously, $17,000 for a bike and it isn’t even a super cool one! But hey, it’s quilted and even comes with a two detachable Chanel flaps and jewelry roll – who could say no to that?
But wait, I’d hate to think these are the only wacky designer items out there! Have any of you seen a ridiculous designer accessory that would look great on this list? Do tell- I’d hate to let it go to waste.
