Before you lose it about another of your boyfriend's crazy ensembles it's worth examining the reasons why men need help shopping for clothes. Whether it's time for him to meet your family or you have an important date coming up, you should never let them go shopping by themselves. While, yes, there are men out there who have a clue, the majority want any excuse imaginable to recreate the Good, the Bad, and the Ugly. So, to end this madness now, let's learn and use the reasons why men need help shopping for clothes.
1. Matching Socks
The very first reason why men need help shopping for clothes is the new trend of mix-matched socks. While this is cute for pre-teens, it's not alright for a grown man. Tell him, “No, you cannot go out wearing socks of two different colors or styles.” I don't care what the other kids are wearing, your grown man child shouldn't participate in the trend. You must make sure he picks out socks that match and look appealing when he goes out in public.
2. Work Boots Don't Go with That
Yes, here in Alabama, this is a common hurdle. Men seem to believe that their work boots - all yellowish brown in color and jacked up from performing their duties on the job - are the right choice for a dinner date. No! Are they planning on handling heavy materials that require a steel toe? I think not!
3. Jeans Should Fit
Two common obstacles come from trying to buy jeans. Either they have the dunlap and can't fit them over their bellies or they want to air out their rear ends. If you have to, you should measure their natural waist and go from there. I know it is difficult to get them to do it, but make them try them on! In some cases, threaten to call their mothers, if necessary. But you must make sure they show you that those jeans fit before they buy them else you'll get an unwanted view of their hindquarters at the absolute wrong moment.
4. Who Gets Married in Flannel?
They're called dress shirts, and they are not made of flannel. Seriously! I know a lot of men in the South have gone all Duck Dynasty, but seriously; it's not attractive for a date night. Don't let his entire winter wardrobe consist of flannel! If you let him slide, he will want to wear one of these monstrosities on your big day.
5. Suits Are Necessary
Every man should have at least two suits. Why? Funerals, weddings, and job interviews all required a nice suit. They will not get hired for upper management wearing their Dale, Jr. t-shirt under flannel. It's also not socially acceptable for them to show up at your sister's wedding or anyone's funeral dressed this way. Teach that man child some respect, preferably in any direction possible away from polyyester!
6. Classy Ties
Notice the word classy is in the headline. Exactly! I don't care how attached he is to ties with cartoon characters on them. Please, for all that is holy, show that man what a classy tie looks like before he gets into the wrong social setting. Don't get me wrong, I'm all for individuality. However, the last thing you want to do is take a man to a company dinner wearing a tie with a Rodney Carrington quote brandished on it, nor should he wear one with Adventure Time characters dancing across it. Teach him the difference.
7. Overalls, Really?
Women wear jumpsuits. However, men in the south love overalls. If they are working on your car, they are fine. However, if you are eating Thanksgiving dinner with your family and they are not rednecks, this could be a problem. Especially, since ladies in the south already know, if they have overalls, chances are that they have convenient, um, air conditioning in areas you don't want exposed.
8. Hats Aren't for Everyone
Hats are fun accessories. However, certain hats are not for everyone. If he wants a hat other than say a cap brandishing his favorite sports team, please make sure he tries it on first. Otherwise, you may end up with a man who believes he is Indiana Jones when in fact, he's Tommy Boy in a hat. And if he does have long, puffy and curly hair make sure he looks like Slash in that top hat before the final purchase.
9. Novelty Items Aren't Accessories
Novelty items are for fun time. If you let a man, especially a Southern man go shopping alone, he may return with a tie brandishing the General Lee playing Dixie. He may also come back with a hard hat with a straw connecting to beer holders. While in some areas this hat could be fun, it's not something he should wear everywhere. If you are dealing with a man child, your thoughts and opinions could get lost in translation. Your best bet is to keep him away from these stores when he's supposed to be buying new clothes. The last thing you want is him wearing a t-shirt with the quote, “If you can read this, please put me back on my barstool,” when he meets your dad.
10. They're Scarves Not Afghans
I have noticed some significant confusion over scarves. Some guys don't understand that the concept of the way in which a scarf can complement their fall or winter wardrobe. Instead, some men have started wearing what looks like mini afghans around their necks. I'm not kidding. I understand that with some men, explaining the concept of actual size could be a problem, but come on, guys. If you can cover up with it when you go to sleep, it's not a scarf.
11. No, Just, No!
Underwear selections can, well, they can really hinder your libido. While I know this is a matter of preference, let me just say, after speaking to a lot of women on this subject, it's safe to say, guys should avoid tighty whities in adulthood. Boxer briefs, preferably in colors that are not white are more appealing. They are more like traditional boxers, but don't ride up like boxers. And well, most importantly, there's reduction in the probability for the appearance of skidmarks. It's up to you on this one, ladies. But my opinion is clearly out there. For me, tighty whites are literally the butt of all redneck jokes.
I'm not saying that there are't men out there with taste or the ability to dress well. I'm simply saying sometimes, they just really need your help to get it right. After all, you are the one they are supposed to keep happy. What are some tragic ensembles your man has put together on his own?