1. Everyone Drinks the Poison

It's so weird how all of us drink that toxic blend of self-shaming and self-loathing. Look, no one, not even Kate Upton, is PERFECT. There's no such thing! You may not know it, but someone else is wishing she had your body, the one you're always picking apart.

2. Size Does Matter

Once I started ignoring the size on the tag inside the swimsuit, and just paid attention to how it fit, I found a flattering bikini. Who cares if I normally wear a size 4, and the bikini I chose is an 8? It fits, and that's what matters.

3. Comfort Counts

If you're tugging at the swimsuit in the fitting room, you'll be tugging at it while you're poolside, too, and even if no one notices, you'll feel like a spectacle. Cast that uncomfortable suit aside and try on something else.

4. Focus

Okay, so I don't love everything about the way my body looks, but I do love my tummy, and my smile; what is it about your body that you love? Focus on that. I don't mean to find a suit that accentuates that - I mean, keep YOUR focus on what you love most.

5. Screw the Shamers

There will always, always be some asshat at the beach or by the pool ready to hurl a hurtful insult at you. Ignore them! They're obviously unhappy in their own skin and want to bring you down too. Don't let them! Smile, and give them an extra bootie-shake as you saunter away.

6. Gather the Girls

I hate feeling singled out, and I'm much more comfortable traveling in a pack with my squad. If you're not quite confident yet, head out for the first few trips to the pool with your friends, and banish any "fat talk" among yourselves.

7. Pamper and Prep

When I've spent a little time on myself before I head to the pool, I feel more secure and sexy. Exfoliate. Slip on some scented sunscreen. Wear a little lip gloss. Maybe try a pretty new braid. Do something to pamper yourself a little, and you'll feel more confident, too.

Do you have any other confidence-boosting-in-a-bikini tips or thoughts to share?